But what I took out of my second marriage experience and subsequent divorce was that you could just decide you didn't want to be married anymore and walk away. Regardless of the fact that you swore you would see the marriage through, 'Til death do us part". That turned out to be the biggest load of CRAP my X and I ever uttered. It was a JOKE...frankly a joke. So naturally these last 6 years or so after my divorce and since I've been in recovery from addiction I have questioned the rational for even considering marriage. Why bother, right?!?
This has been a position that I have taken for the majority of the time I've been sober. I was briefly in a relationship for 6 weeks or so that was essential a passion fueled, 6 week romp in the sack with me basically taking out all my pain, anger and hurt out through sex. She seemed to have her own demons chasing her as well, it was base, empty and ultimately unsatisfying. And the end result of it was once again bitter and disastrous for me from a trust stand point. She tired of the relationship, wasn't comfortable with my status as a person in recovery and broke it off via text message.
Once again I felt stupid and used, ignorant really for letting myself fall for another person. I became very determined to NOT let that ever happen again....
To Be Continued...
