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Monday, June 6, 2011


Well, how did THAT happen?! Jeez I don't know...Honestly I don't ever pretend to have anything about this life figured out!

I literally got out of bed this morning at 6:15a...I can't remember the last time I was relaxed and comfortable (read: manageable pain) enough to do that. It was wonderful...the morning sun was pouring in through the screened in porch and slider...I really enjoyed that.

I write about a lot of heavy sh*t here on Shell Shock Serenade, I realize that but I hope readers also catch the gratitude that I feel for the life that I have today. The hard, difficult periods and experiences of the past only give reference to how things can change in a person's life.

I don't know if I could truly come up with a one word answer to the question: Describe yourself in one word. But HOPEFUL would definately be in the running today and that simple statement truly represents a miracle. Hopeful?! You've got to be kidding, 5 years ago today I was completely WITHOUT hope, an empty, heartbroken SHELL of a human being who had just failed at the ultimate failure: suicide.

To come from the cold, hard place to where i stand today is a testament to the fact that God does indeed exist. I really have no other way of explaining it...I did everything in my power to quit this life YET...I could not. And I am not just posturing, I cannot take credit for it, it truly defy's reason that I am sitting here this morning feeling as grateful as i do...

So I thank all of you who are reading today...because you contribute to my recovery...this blog has been an amazing addition to my life and provides a fantastic forum to share and communicate what's going on with me. It also gives me a chance to give back to others by allowing me to share my experience, strength and hope here.

I would not be me if I didn't pause a moment to reflect on the fact that 67 years ago today, some very brave souls began taking back Northern Europe from the evil tyranny of Hitler's Nazi's. Yes, today is the anniversary of the D-Day Invasion at Normandy, France.