Sunday, October 9, 2011
And So IT Began...
I have been married twice. The first time to my High School Girlfriend and we had two children, my daughter and son. The marriage really never was a marriage, we were young, we got married because we "had to" and thought we really didn't have another choice. But mainly we didn't stay married because she was discovering that she was a Lesbian and really was just coming to terms with the fact. So less then two years after we got married, we divorced then she and the kids went to live with her Mum in Florida.
Being seperated from my children was awful but deep down I was relieved the marriage was over. I just chalked the whole thing up to experience and tried to do my best as I carved out a new life by myself in Holland MI.
I grew up a lot during that time and life was pretty good. It was during this time period that I first really dealt with the fact that I had been sexual assaulted as a boy. A female co-worker and I became friends outside of work and during one of our lengthy discussions over coffee after work, I was able to reveal my deepest, darkest secret. She had been sexually abused by her dad's sister from age 8-17...as we discussed this one evening...I blurted out my story. We were both stunned.
She guided me to a wonderful therapist and that helped me out immensely. We never became boyfriend and girlfriend...shortly after that, she went back to college, using a Grant plus scholarships to go to the University of Detroit. I believe in my heart that she and i got together for that 18 month period of times as close friends to help each other with our deep emotional wounds and learn to trust others again.
Shortly after she left a good friend of mine told me one of her old co-workers whom I had previously met had gone to Vermont a year or so before for work on her Master's Degree was moving back to Holland. She was going to be staying at her place for awhile until she got settled in. I'll call her M...
My friend also told me M was single now, having split with her long time boyfriend. That really got my attention...I was going to be down here on the island for the weekend but I made a point to stop by my friends place and say hello when I got back into town on Sunday night. M was supposed to go hang out with friends but it turns out when she heard I was coming by to see my friend and shoot the sh*t for awhile, she stuck around.
Fate was conspiring to bring the two of us together. When I went home that night, I had a date with M to go get some Chinese food at a new place in town the next day or so. I was really excited by the idea...
(Painting by Claude Monet)