Revolution Of The Heart

"These are the times that try men's souls..." Words written by Thomas Paine at the beginning of his historical classic: "American Crisis". Of course our country was not yet a country and there was a Revolution going on. I imagine at that time it seemed as if their whole world was being torn apart and turned upside down...everything they once knew as normal and accepted no longer existed and chaos, anarchy and violence now became the rule. Often that is the only way drastic change can be accomplished.

The "Status quo" being so accepted by the people involved....so entrenched in their every day routine and psyche, that it is impossible to do something...anything different or new without drastic circumstances. Revolution obviously qualifies as a drastic circumstance.

A so it was in my own life as I tried to break away from a life of active addiction. Suicide certainly qualifies as a drastic measure...me thinks! But the upheaval I experienced over the last 6 or 7 years has most definately been a result of the same principle of change requiring drastic measures....and as the change occurred in my life, I became accustomed to a new way of living and the upheaval and the chaos began to eventually subside.

Oh, change still occurs almost daily these days but it is a much more natural part of my everyday life. There can still be chaos and upheaval but those times occur much less frequently right now. And the simple fact is that even when the chaos returns...I am much more experienced and prepared to be dealing with it.

Anyone who read last nights post: My Friend...SORROW realizes that indeed a bit of chaos in the form of an unexpected change in circumstance had taken place. And as a result...I continue to struggle at the moment with a certain relationship and exactly how to proceed after experiencing some rather unpleasant realities...

Sometimes, at least in my life anyway...the answer to a critical, important life changing question of the moment is "I don't really know" and in this case I really don't know how to proceed. However I do know in my heart that I have to move forward so that is what I will do. And that faith to proceed even though I don't have things "all figured out" is a direct result of the drastic change, the Revolution Of The Heart I like to call it that I have experienced in the last 10 months of my life.

I don't know what will happen and I haven't a clue how this story ends....but I'll show up for life today (a real change from how I used to operate!) and give it a go....What else is their to do?