I admit it...I have really been bumming out. I use to be able to travel quite a bit, taking lots of great trips even if that meant going back and forth between here and Holland, MI where K-Sure lives. Holland of course is my old home town and my son lives there. Now because of financial restraints I can't really do it anymore and it bums me out. But I do try and stay positive and open minded about it all.
I am planning on going for one night this coming Tuesday and though it's kinda tough financially it is worthwhile it. A week from Sunday is my 49th Birthday so K-Sue really wanted me to come so I'm gonna do it. I know how much it means to her and I am excited to.
But honestly....I feel pathetic about this whole thing...Sheesh, imagine getting excited about getting away for ONE freakin' day...Ach, what a joke! I used to do whatever I wanted and now I can hardly do anything for entertainment....I know, I'm was starting to feel a bit sorry for myself.
But again, I can't feel sorry for myself because ultimately I am to blame for the life I have today! I have to accept that I am reaping what I had sown over a the previous decades before I finally sobered up. So I'll take what i can get then Kim will come down here the weekend of the 16th which is my actual birthday...it should be fun.
I have to take what life has to offer and can't get all hung up on things that have already happened. I can't control that stuff and it accomplishes absolutely nothing to worry about it. Yea, it bums me out that I can not do all the stuff that I used to but there are certain areas of my life (my sanity for instance!) where things are much better then they used to be. So it IS what it IS....time to just accept it and move forward.