Friday, October 28, 2011
It Begins & Ends w/TRUST
I see the world, just like every other person living on the planet sees the world...through the lens of my very own camera's eye. And what I see....er, understand and feel...is then interpreted through the filter of my very own life's experience. That is why 20 people can witness the same scene and each will have their very own "unique" take on it. That is also why in my opinion there are very few absolutes in this life, very few things come across as solidly black and white, accepted by all people as TRUTH.
I see no issue with that I suppose as long as everybody understands that is the way it IS but few people , I believe truly understand and accept that. So it creates much confusion...in a world where we already have more confusion then we can possible sort out. Hence the need to communicate becomes more necessary then ever before but even with all the communication tools we have available to us these days: phones, text, IM, e-mail ans social networking sires....we typically communicate on a personal, one to one level more poorly today then ever before.
We assume stating information is communicating when in fact that often is not enough...it 'tis but a beginning, not an end. So much of our problems as a society concerning relationships can be traced back to the fact that people don'y actually communicate with each other. They assume passing information back and forth, without providing background details or answering any potential questions is enough, when often times it leaves too many "loose ends' up in the air...and that only promotes multiple interpretations...leading to...you guessed it, more confusion.
Relationships can be maddening enough when they are reasonably healthy with a natural openness, trust and understanding all nurtured by clear, honest and loving communication...but when there is poor or no communication...leading to misunderstandings, hurt feelings and mistrust...well that can prove truly disastrous for all.
I am not an expert on any of this...believe me...I was not a good communicator back in the day because I often hurried through life and just assumed people "knew" what I meant therefore I never paused to clarify my meaning. This lead to much confusion, misunderstanding and ultimately to mistrust...the death-nell of a personal relationship. So I have just tried to put the lessons learned over a lifetime of communication so perhaps I'll continue to improve in this area in the future.
And again...everyone and every relationship is different so that is why I believe a general understanding of what promotes TRUST in relationships is the obvious place to start...