Ever wonder if recovering alcoholic/addicts think about drinking or doing drugs? If so, how do they deal with that...doesn't it drive 'em crazy?!
As far as I'm concerned: The compulsive desire to drink/drug has been removed from me...it just isn't there anymore. And that simple fact still astounds me to this day.
For clarity's sake let me define "compulsive desire"...most addict/alcoholics know what I'm talking about here but it is basically the total obsession to drink/drug that we often feel as just a "normal" part of our everyday lives. It's one of the most powerful "Desires" I have ever felt, it was truly a compulsion. It is a total, all consuming obsession to use dope and drink...and yet for me today, that desire is gone.
That doesn't mean that I occasionally haven't felt like drinking/drugging. I have wanted a drink from time to time but usually it's been a rather rare occurrence in the last couple of years. And I truly consider that obsession being removed as a gift because I wouldn't be able to do it on my own.
As I have often mentioned here on Shell Shock, each individual addict/alcoholic has their own issues and program for dealing with their addiction. Some folks really struggle with this issue, while others...not as much.
I would say during the first year of my recovery it was a daily occurrence to want to drink/drug. There were days where I held on only by my finger nails...for real. It was a tough, tough time. But you take each day one at a time and that seems to break it up enough to seem...doable. "I can make it for a day..." Slowly but surely things improved...the key was to never give up. "Don't drink even if your Ass falls off..." is a popular slogan in recovery circles.
The main focus for me today is to not drink/drug, to keep identifying/rectifying internal (character defects) issues from the past, making amends for the past and living a life today based on honesty, service to others and faith in a higher power of my own choosing. Simple right?!
Yep simple...but NOT easy and it takes practice and good friends who are willing to help. But the life I have today is so positive, so far removed from that complete focus on SELF that I had before. It truly is the best kind of life for me...
I did wonder that. I have also wanted to invite one of my friends out with me, but never knew if that was appropriate because people around us would be drinking. I finally got up the courage to just ask him what is and isn't ok for me to ask him to do with me. He was very honest. I appreciate the honesty I find with recovering alcoholics I've known! Most people aren't so "real".
ReplyDeleteYep, I agree...if you have a question like that, just ask. Most recovering folks will appreciate that. Like i said, everyone has a different take on what is acceptable for them. Social drinking situations? I don't even think about it, they never bother me. Now going to a bar for 3 hours while friends sit and drink until they are good and buzzed, I have no use for that and wouldn't stick around very long. Not because I'm "afraid" it would affect my sobriety (though I would have been in the early days of recovery) but I just don't see the point anymore. There are a lot of things i'd rather be doing.
ReplyDeleteI think it's important to realize that those who are recovering aren't lepers...they are just normal folks too. Great comment, I really appreciate your sharing Shelby.