FOOTPRINTS

What kind of footprint will I leave in the sand of this life when my time to leave this earth comes? How will I be remembered? I mostly haven't thought about that question, at least until recently. And I'm not talking about the last day or so with the news of my neighbors daughter passing away...

I mostly haven't thought about that question, at least until recently. And I'm not talking about the last day or so with the news of my neighbors daughter passing away... No I actually started thinking about it when I started thinking about other people instead of just myself...probably the last year or so. It is so much what people literally think about me that I care about, nope it's the kind of life I lived that has become important to me. My legacy, what I leave behind...

I think that is a subject that most of us rarely think about as we cruise through our busy lives, day after day. I've come to understand that if I live the life I aspire to, IE: one of service to my fellows...I don't think I'd have much to worry about. It is actually living that kind of life that is difficult.

No matter how hard I try sometimes it seems like I naturally revert back to my old selfish self if I don't conscientiously work at it every day. Please don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to be saint or a monk here. No I'm just talking about a daily living focus on selfless behavior as part of my usual character. Sounds like a load of hooey, I know. But it's not, for me anyhow it's just a shift to thinking about others and not just myself.

I will admit, that for me it doesn't come naturally and it isn't easy. Perhaps most people are naturally more selfless in their behavior and don't have to work at it. Shit, that certainly isn't me but it's getting better.

And when I see things happen like those two people suddenly dying in the prime of their lives it really makes me think about the kind of person I am and who I want to be. I don't see any harm in that at all...as a matter of fact, I tie my sobriety very closely with my attitude toward other people because I've learned the hard way that a selfish focus PROMOTES and even FEEDS my addictive tendencies.

I imagine someone will dispute that, go right ahead but I've found that for ME and I only speak for myself here...that it is quite true that I am happier, more stable and less likely to drink/drug if I focus on helping others, particularly in the area of alcoholism/addiction. It's proven fact in my life and the lives of many others.

Some claim that through a one time therapy approach that they can cure their addiction. Hey, more power to you if that works, it did NOT work for me. This life I lead today has kept me sober, one day at a time for over 4 years. And more importantly then that, productive, happy and living a life I really enjoy. It hasn't been easy but it's been worth it...