Go Ahead...Eat The Chocolate' Bunny Ears, Rodney!

"He's not all there...' yet here he is....seemingly "ALL THERE". Mind lucid, functional...no drool running down his chin...just a few subtle hints of bruising left when he...er, I passed out and fell face first into the edge of the door and then crumpled to the floor. Geez, I jumped up and looked around to see if anyone saw me then realized I was in my bedroom, it was 2am and everyone in the house was sacked out!

That is my latest fun and games activity: Falling down exhausted....I did it twice (at least that I remember) last night...the fore-mentioned door frame/floor incident, then earlier in the evening...I just toppled to the floor while standing up in my room. Add this to the countless times I have fallen face forward onto my desk or computer keyboard.

I just don't understand how I can be THAT tired but when I lie down I cannot even begin to sleep or even relax. It is really affecting my ability to concentrate, to reason, think and remember. It's frightening....

The other day when I had the stomach scope done the nurses had me prepped on the table and we had to wait for the doc. Well my throat thing started to act up, where I felt like I couldn't swallow. My pulse went up to 145 and freaked the nurse out so they called the doc and he zapped me as soon as he came in. I thought it was good that a doctor aar leass He wanted my personal Doc to write me a script for some something to calm the nerves....Well I just can't really do that, because of my being an addict...I have to be careful. I talked to the nurse, they sent in a script and it turned out to be for a anti-depressant....NO WAY! So I have an appointment Monday but Ach....I don't know what we can do but i have NO LIFE right now.

I cannot go out and do anything outside the house hardly...I can barely go for a walk..

Ironically as I write this my buddy texts me and asks how I'm doing. I tell him basically what I'm writing here and he asks if i want to come over. he lives less then 10 min away. Soooooooo....I'm breaking out of this cage and fly for awhile. Just hope K-Sue doesn't read this cause she'll freak about me driving at night when I'm so out of it....Hey, I'm an ex-drunk...I can drive! Seriously...I'm OK for a short drive off the island 2 miles then 2 miles after that. Later...