Feeling Minnesota

An aspect of blogging I really enjoy yet don't really mention is it brings me in touch with all kinds of different people and their points of view. I really love hearing how other folks process the same information I do. I love different points of view. That in itself was strange about me (one of many strange things...) is that I was arrogant and though I knew everything, I could be defensive and sensitive as well...yet I was open to a different opinion...even one that conflicted with my stated point of view. Oh yes, a boy full of contrasts and conflict...that's me!

Soundgarden, the Grunge Band from Seattle that hit it large in the early 1990's along with Nirvana and Pearl Jam plus others had a song called Outshined that had a lyric that went "I'm looking California but feeling Minnesota..." Well thats me...I'm feeling Minnesota and already starting to project into the future and try to predict how the visit to the clinic will go. Not really a healthy way to deal or cope. I need to just let it lie, it will happen...in a week.

But feeling sh*tty and feeling Minnesota are basically the same thing plus I'm longing to get there and start to whip this bugger of a disease...whatever it is!!

I've never been good about seizing the moment or living in the moment in a healthy way. I need to embrace my moments...they are limited...and squeeze even ounce of joy from each day that I can.

Once again I'm rather scattered brained but I am going to leave on another dream creature note. I have had a Buffalo Skull Tattoo on my left arm for 17 years or so...not one of those new age ones with feathers and sh*t...nope, just a skull. Again I would go native in my dreams (I read Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee when I was like 10 or 12, it slips my mind but I was pretty young) and dream of Buffalo on the plains. The long prairie grass blowing in the wind...

I was always dreaming about times long ago...I should post about that I suppose but there is a reason I'm reluctant: If I wrote about that subject everyone would not only think but be convinced that I am a total Nut Case. Let's just say that I was way too familiar with historic places and events that happened long ago. Knowing things that no one today could really know. Get the drift people? Your a bunch of smart asse...er, cookies..you should figure this out!

I'll ponder and get back to you...