Last Night's...

Post. Yep last night's post definitely is one that falls into that category that I want to delete. It wasn't my finest hour. It clearly was a moment of doubt...I was hurting and those things like fear, pain and uncertainty kick in and derail the serenity that had been there just minutes before.

As usual...I'm leaving it as posted. I think there are times in this blog when I've been writing about recovery that I may come across as having it all figured out. I don't...I'm not even close and this post just reinforces that notion.

I am but a man who is frightened and hurting. My reactions to those realities change throughout the course of a day. I'll go from feeling the way I did last night to acting defiant, like nothing is wrong and never will be. At other times I'm just quietly grateful to be alive. So my moods obviously are in flux...big time!

I know that once I head out on the road tomorrow, things get simpler. So I just need to work my way to that point and all will work out.

I intend to post from the MAYO Clinic and during this trip as much as I can. I'm hoping to bring the good old EPIC 4G into treatments with me. We'll see if I can swing that.

Off to town this morning so take it easy and see you soon...