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Saturday, March 12, 2011

Pee Jug In A Bag



I have a little dilemma that I thought I would share with everyone out there in Shell Shock Serenade-Land. Does anyone know a discreet yet stylish way to carry around a bright orange one gallon jug for collecting urine over a 24 hour period?

Hmmm...didn't think so! Well starting tomorrow morning I have to use one of those big ugly jugs every single time I go to have a pee. Whats the big deal, use one of those babies a few times a day...right.

One of the symptoms I've been having was I urinate like clockwork...every 25 minutes or so...all day and all night. And I wasn't really planning on just hanging out in the bathroom of my house for a 24 hour period either, nope I like to do stuff.

Like go to church on Sunday morning. Can you see me lugging that thing into church tomorrow?! I know...I can put the little bugger in a bag and put it in the bathroom but still, people notice. And eventually I have to take it with me, half full of urine through the crowded church lobby on my way out to the car....

Now you see the picture. I'm wondering if maybe I could disguise it somehow...I don't know, the darn thing is so big that folks will ask questions. I could just go for shock value entertainment:

Happy Morning Person:"Good morning Thom...er..ah..what do you have there (Big goofy smile on this happy person's face) Me:"Good morning...I'm glad you asked (whipping out the big ole ugly orange jug from a paper bag) Because what I have here is a big old jug of my own freshly made, top quality urine...at this time of day Coffee urine, most likely!" I say (With a big a** smirky grin on my face...).

Well, yea...I don't think that's the best way to approach it but the old me would have gone in that direction in a heartbeat!

Perhaps I should just come home directly after church tomorrow and start the 24 hour clock after that. I really don't have much in the way of plans for tomorrow. It might be better to avoid that situation all together...

But I'm open for suggestions if anyone has an idea for carrying the big orange monster around in public (remember it's half full of pee!!)...


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