I promise, no more pictures or thoughts about goofy, brain-dead cartoon characters that get stuck in the brains of adults (some of who read this blog) and drive them freaking nuts for the rest of the day...
No today I suppose is about reality which is kind of weird because this past week has had kind of a dream-like quality to it. Though the waiting and the testing were all very real, living in a hotel, right in the middle of town (and a world renown medical campus)does have a strange, fantasy-like quality all it's own.
The time has come to go home...and I'm certainly ready for it. It is odd how I happen to process change like this. For example coming home feels a bit uncertain to me when it should (in my opinion)be something I'm really excited about.
I think the answer to that lies in the fact that we still don't have any real answers to the questions that brought me here in the first place. I've never been a person who is comfortable when things are really in flux. i prefer closure....I'm getting better in that area, more relaxed and patient but still I would rather be able to close the door on this chapter and get on with treatment.
But the world doesn't revolve around me, this i now know so I just have to wait my turn like everyone else. And ultimately thats OK with me.
This trip, as I've mentioned already has been good for me. I've learned a lot about myself and that is always a positive thing. It's cool to see how the world works outside my closed circle at home and this experience in Rochester/Mayo Clinic was a real eye opener.
The next post should be either from the road or from home. I sort of feel like an apology is in order because the last few weeks of posts have been full of whiny, boring posts recounting what I did during the day. Unfortunately it's what was on my mind most of the time.
Even though We have no definite conclusions on what is happening with my health, I still feel like much progress has been made so i close this post feeling hopeful and yea, I'm ready, ready to go home..
(PS-There isn't anything GOOFY or BRAIN-DEAD about BUGS!)
Don't apologize. I love reading about your "adventure" and struggles. I don't love that you have to go through it all - but it gives us readers a further glimpse of who you are.
ReplyDeleteThank you for being so open and sharing and I'm still thinking about you now that you play the waiting game. Waiting game is the worst!
you probably has Bugs sublimally planted in your brain after saying "What's up doc?" all week :)
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