Cool Stuff

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Life's Minefield

I have recently blogged quite about about spiritual matters and how important it is that I incorporate my spiritual beliefs into my daily life. That has provided a balance to my life that had not existed before.

I am always reluctant to talk about things spiritual here on the blog and in personal conversation for a couple of different reasons.

One they are MY beliefs and I feel strongly about that. And because they are mine, I do not pretend to be any kind of authority or expert on it. Two I still have difficulty with organized religion and those feelings and convictions have actually been strengthened by my becoming a Christian sometime in late February.

And that is what is on my mind this morning. I still struggle with some of the people I meet in Christian circles. I know I am not the judge and jury of other folks spiritual beliefs and how they choose to live their lives. But their behavior, attitude and close mindedness seems to feed some of the pre-conceptions and streo-types I've had for years.

So I really find myself in a position where I am uncomfortable and not sure if I really want to be around people and situations like that. I don't feel good that I feel that way yet I have to follow the "Nudges" I get in my moments of quiet reflection where I believe that God is speaking to me.

I guess my position here is still in "flux". It's still vague because I am still being formed spiritually and my focus has to really be on staying open minded and realizing that if I do not agree with someone, that's OK I can still love them un-conditionally. I do not have to believe the same way they do.

I will admit that this is my first bit of consistent exposure to groups of people in Church and in Christian study and support groups. I am used to a more wide open type of support system where people are coming from just about every spiritual point of view, from Atheist to Agnostic to believer's in a variety of organized faiths to people who were like I was, independent in their personal beliefs.

I realize that it is important not to get too caught up with this notion that I have to figure everything out right now, just relax. Often times things do work themselves out for the best.

I am going to really try to talk more about spiritual ideas and feelings, how they have helped me. And most importantly this process which I feel has been taking place inside of me for long time. I do not want to come of as "preachy", that isn't my intention at all. I don't know for certain I my spiritual condition is always solid, I could I dare pretend to know what is best for somebody else!!?

So if I stumble and bumble about around that topic in the next few days, weeks, months...whatever, I kindly ask you to please bear with me and realize that I am just trying to live up to the guidelines I originally set up for Shell Shock Serenade: To cover the daily life, warts and all of a person (me) who is in recovery from alcoholism/addiction, co-dependency and healing from sexual assault as a 12 year old boy.

Dealing with spiritual matters most certainly is a major part of my life in recovery today. I also now know that blogging about this is also a critical part of my "giving IT away to keep IT" philosophy. I strongly agree and embrace the concept that I need to share my story of addiction and rape with others who struggle to be able to actually recover from it myself.

Before I close this post this morning I want to ask again for feedback. It really matters to me what other people have to say. I cannot recover in a void, I need people and their support. One of the most effective ways to support me and Shell Shock Serenade is to comment on posts. Share anything you'd like.

If using the more public comment vehicle on the blog isn't your cup-of- tea then please feel free to email me at: You may ask me anything and feel free to share whatever happens to be on your mind.

I value the readers here on SSS more then you will ever know. You've inspired me, challenged me and educated me and I find those things invaluable as I attempt to negotiate my way through the minefield of life and it's various obstacles on a daily basis. I am deeply grateful for the time you take out of your busy lives to read a little bit of what I may think or feel here on the blog, Thank You!