Wednesday Morning 3am...wasn't that a title of a Simon and Garfunkel album? Yep, it sure is...Anyway that isn't what i was posting about. I'm lamenting that it's actually 3 o'clock in the morning and my Monkey A** is awake...AGAIN!
I guess it's unavoidable...it is just the way I am and I've actually found I do better if I don't fight it and just go with the flow. I should be grateful because I feel pretty good. there was a time early in my recovery where I would be awake because I had just had another horrific nightmare and woke up covered with sweat, screaming at the top of my lungs. That hasn't happened to me in a long, long time.
I think they call that "healing" but I'm not sure (Big Smile because I'm being coy!). Yes, it is healing and it was making progress like that gave me hope to continue. It came in baby steps but it didn't matter because that little bit of progress each day motivated me to keep trudging down the road to recovery.
Just Like I now recognized that there are worse things then being awake now, I could have had a nightmare but I didn't. I'm just thinking too much but I've learned from my experiences that this isn't necessarily a bad thing, no it's part of the process and it will pass.
So maybe I should just lay back down, plug in the old I-Pod (that I reset and got working again, horaay!) and listen to a little Simon and Garfunkel, "Sounds of Silence" perhaps and then maybe I'll feel peaceful enough to fall away in sleep....