I just got word from my Doc that I am to stay home, preferably in bed, take my BP Meds and try to get well or he is putting me in hospital..SOOOO, I guess I'll listen but I'm starting to get pissed off with this health thing. I'm frustrated and starting to feel a bit discouraged. Oh well...it's just another day on the planet and one must persevere.
I was thinking about some of the recent things I've posted here on Shell Shock and it struck me that I am in one of those ruts where the post titles are actually way better then the substance of the post. It is the nature of writing...sometimes you can kick out great posts...they just flow right out of you but then it's impossible to come up with a suitable title.
This is just the opposite...the title's are interesting and thought provoking (I think so anyway) but the posts are weak and a bit forced...again in my opinion. I realize that I am never satisfied and this is just another example where that is true...of course it is my nature to always push to do better.
Another thing that I have noticed since I started writing Shell Shock Serenade...I tend to write better, more interesting posts when things are not going to well as opposed to times when life is really good. Pain obviously motivates me, it inspires me and brings out the passion in me more then satisfaction and happiness...though I am really starting to improve in that area. I really believe that I am just not used to feeling good very often and it will just take some time to get the hang of it...I'm getting there.
But isn't THAT a riot? I have to actually get used to life being good?! But it's really the case with me...I just have not experienced my happiness in the last decade of my life or so. It really shouldn't come as a surprise because people get conditioned to what they experience and adjust to it in their lives day to day. I am no different...and this situation is a perfect example of that.
So that is how my Monday is starting off...with a series of interesting questions. We'll visit some more of this type of question as we continue later on...
(Painting: Vincent Van Gogh)