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Thursday, November 3, 2011

When Night Becomes Day

The Night...darkness and night have always represented uncertainty to me...mystery even but I ultimately always found great comfort in the night and on the contrary felt quite vulnerable, EXPOSED even...during the light of day.

I still find comfort at just seems less...SEVERE somehow.  I am not really sure what I am basing that comment on really but the description holds water...that is the way it feels to me. I used to like the darkness because one could lie simply by OMISSION. In other words not mentioning something so you wouldn't have to explain yourself. And it was easier to hide somethings in darkness, hence it became easier to operate, to function in the twi-light to dawn shift.

Back in those days...the easier scenario in which to LIE, well the better because my entire life was indeed just one gigantic lie!

I am by nature introverted, always was and always will be...What this basically means is that I am quite comfortable with little or no outside socialization...I don't need it and could care less for it. I'm perfectly happy all by myself. In the past I felt exposed in daylight and "on the spot" being forced into conversations...having to participate in the dreaded "small talk" that I despise so much.

It isn't that I dislike people or that I am not a "people person" many ways I really am...I just don't care for situations where I am forced to socialize and make small talk...Ach, I cannot stand making small talk. It is so....worthless and un-fulfilling an my opinion.

I would rather get up in front of 55 inmates at the Branch County Jail and tell them the story of forgiveness as I did last week then make small talk all evening at a dinner party or church pot-luck....seriously. I realize that sounds rather extreme...yep, it does sound extreme because it IS extreme! But hey...that is me: I truly am a MAN of extremes...always was and I always will be to a certain degree.

So Night is Day to the Nowhere Man...and day is as night...always was...always probably will be...forever perched on verge of eternity. 

(PHOTO: Kathy Tomson)

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