My Exploding Head and My Tailpipe's On Fire TOO!

OK...I'm sitting here at my grandfather's desk after finally getting a little sleep so hopefully this means I won't be nodding off (passing out) onto my keyboard anymore posting comments on FaceBook that look like: 
    " Hi I was wo...............................;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;sxxxxx22222225577777777777777777777777777:(((((((((((*^;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; I hope that was what you were thinking ^^^^^^^^88" 


Which I've done a couple of times in the last two days. I do feel better which is a good thing because tonight is kind of important to me. We will be starting our Bible Listening Ministry (I read the Bible out loud for an hour, like story time...everyone else just listens) at the church. We hope this may encourage some folks who for one reason or another typically would come to a small group type thing to attend. We have modeled this on a similar activity we have been facilitating at a nursing home/assisted living home for several months already. 


I will admit that I am excited about this opportunity to give back to this wonderful church that has really supported me during my rather weird and at times difficult transition to Christianity. Plus it carries HUGE symbolism for me to do something like this in a church environment. Today is not the time that I want to go into a post on my difficulties with the church/organized religion...no I will save that for another time but I did struggle with my feelings for decades about churches so this is a really big step for me today. I feel so privileged to be able to serve in this capacity this evening....


I'm also really freaking TERRIFIED!! But I do trust God today and I'm gonna let him handle the "scared outta my wits" thing I have going right now that has my head feeling like it's about to explode and my rear end feeling like I'm sitting on a seat of red hot coals! Seriously...i'm a bit wound up at the moment but that really has mostly to do with the unknown: We have no clue who or how many people may show up. Could be 30....could be no one shows...but whatever the turn out we will begin reading the Gospel of LUKE and do so for about an hour.


I actually have a hard time believing this is happening. Even though I have been pretty open on the blog I still probably have done the greatest job of representing what I used to be LIKE. I was a hell-raiser, a junkie and a GOD-Hater in a big way...and now I'm reading the Bible for people for an hour? This has got to be a joke right?! Nope...it's not at all and the irony of it is delicious...it really is.


Well I have to get cracking so perhaps I'll have some hi-lights this evening after it's over....if I survive it!