Tuesday, November 1, 2011
I (Day) Dream Of Sleeping
Here we are writing yet another 3a post. You guessed it, I can't sleep. This time I am having difficulty getting to sleep now not just staying to sleep. I tried cutting back on the coffee but I haven't really seen any different result. I am just going to stay active and keep moving forward. I shouldn't have any problem with the staying busy part because we start the new "Bible listening Ministry" at the church this evening. I'll be honest, I'm a bit nervous about the whole thing. I know deep down that everything will be OK.
It really is an exciting time for me. I never in my wildest dreams thought I would even go to church again yet here I am now not only going and enjoying it but actively involved in it as well. I thought as a "new person" in the church that I might find it difficult to start any kind of new ministry like the reading at the nursing home but I found nothing but encouragement and help from the pastor right on down. I was very pleasantly surprised.
That is when I started to realize that I had brought some pre-conceived ideas about churches and those people who attend them with me and that in many ways they were not accurate. I'm sure they applied to some churches but not all and that is where I had to begin to change my own attitudes about there being a definite DIFFERENCE between Religion and Spirituality. For most of my adult life I had blended the two and assumed they were the same thing...I obviously was mistaken in making that assumption.
I think what concerns me the most this morning is that I do not feel physically emotionally or psychologically sharp because of how tired I am. I find myself falling asleep at the keyboard..it's happened half a DOZEN times just while I have been writing this short post. This is a major concern going into a situation where I have to read in public, out loud for an hour to an audience. And let's face it...the bible has a lot of tricky and unusual language in it so it really can be a challenge.
Well...all I can do is pray for help and let 'er rip. I am meeting with a friend and mentor from church this morning at 8a and I will just let him know what's going on and I'm sure we can work through any issues.
So we'll see how it goes. I think this exhaustion issue is definately impacted my writing in a negative way. I know I have come across sentences that make no sense...a lot more typos...that kind of thing. I am doing my best but Im also trying to relax and just let things blow over. Eventually i will sleep and sleep will solve most of these issues....so here's to sleep!
(Painting By Claude Monet)