Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Long, Tired Night...
Man am I ever tired...exhausted doesn't even begin to cover it. It has been a long few days without sleep though I did manage an hour or so nap earlier this afternoon...That hour made all the difference in getting me through the evening. When I get overly fatigued I feel it in my eyes They burn and itch) and my calves feel strange...plus my body just feels like I fell out of a tree... everything just HURTS!
Oh well, we made it through the day and that is what matters. One of the old "standby" comments I use in describing myself and my arrogance is that I was the King of NOTHING or The Emperor of Emptiness or Duke of Disaster....those kind of descriptions. They describe how I thought I was this high and mighty person when in reality it was a figment of fantasy...I lived in a dream-world.
I have often found in my life of recovery that when I start to feeling too big for my britches...circumstances will humble me, chop me down to size. I also find that even when I am acting with humility God will often remind me that I am not the one in charge....he is and I just need to follow, Tonight was one of those nights. We started our Bible listening ministry and nobody showed up except two guys who came to help set up and support the ministry's first night.
I wasn't surprised, actually and even predicted to my father this afternoon that I had a feeling that nobody would show up. That's OK...it's going to take some time. Someone who has attended chuech there awhile told me yesterday that we could have 20 people and I thought that sounded a bit optimistic but you never really know. I am not going to fret about it at all and honestly, I was quite happy to do it as I get great joy and comfort from reading God's WORD out loud to others. It was only announced twice in church and we could have done a better job of mentioning the information sheets we had available in the lobby but we live and learn. People had no idea what this was all about and because it had never been tried before no one really had anything to compare this to...perhaps we can work on communicating a little more information this week and we'll try again next Tuesday...I'm learning that church communication is nothing like the business communication that I am used to from my 25 years in Management...and that can be both a positive and a negative.
This will all work out just fine...we'll keep showing up on Tuesdays at 6p and reading to whoever may show up. I really enjoy and truly "get into" reading the Bible for stretches of time and to have the opportunity to do so is a blessing that I am grateful for. And that's how I really look at it so it will work out just the way it's supposed to...
Anyway...I'm totally exhausted so i think I'll probably turn in soon and snooze. until next time.
(Painting: Pablo Picasso)