I love to catch it, usually just a willow wisp of a glance, perhaps then you may see it...the faintest hint of a glow on the eastern horizon. It is coming...Dawn, a brand new day.
I often catch myself wondering at this time in the morning, what this new day might bring. The possibilities of course are endless. There could be great joy in this day or great sorrow. Hardship or ecstasy...one never knows when you are on the cusp, at the very crack of the dawn, of this brand new day.
I use to dread them of course...new days, that is. I often would pass out the night before with the very real hope in my heart that I wouldn't live to see another dawn. Only to feel so deflated when my eyes once again would crack open, and through the alcoholic haze of those same bloodshot eyes see that I did indeed survive to start a new day's sentence in the HELL, that I happened to call a life.
Oh how different today is! Yep, it is...I look forward to each new opportunity to live. Each day, as I realize now is a gift, a true gift and one I am so grateful for. And I have no doubt that my experience lends a special perspective to this point of view. I now understand the gift compared to how my life once was...a daily struggle to survive, to exist...where success was merely living to the end of the day without killing anyone in a drunken driving incident, taking my own life or once again really hurting one of the people I cared deeply about.
Now, if I awake, then survival is assumed and I just go about living my life to serve the Creator. Honestly, it is that simple...
Now none of this new approach or attitude suggests that life is simple or easy...of course it is not. Often times though I am my own worst enemy in that regard. When I start to think I know what is best and begin running the show, as it were...well things tend to go less then smoothly. And it is rather obvious to me that I have taken my eye of God. The sooner i re-connect...well the sooner balance is restored.
And there is that pesky, little wee bit of a word: BALANCE. Ach....sometimes I wish....er, actually no I don't. I embrace balance and have discovered that the only possible way to achieve any king of balance is to live in perfect union with the Lord. Easier said then done but it is true. keeping that connection truly is up to me and it isn't too difficult: Prayer. That is the portal, the connection or LIFELINE as it were. Prayer and meditation.
There was a time that when I sat still and closed my eyes in an attempt to pray or meditate that my mind would begin to fly through a million different thoughts and scenarios, my heart would pick up on that and begin to race and any possible attempt to relate, meditate or pray would be lost forever.
I am not sure what has changed except that each time I have the opportunity I quietly try to connect with God through prayer and meditation. Meditation for me being nothing more then listening. Listening to the song of my heart, the very VOICE of God. I have no doubt today that he does communicate to those who believe and FOLLOW him.
And YES, this is another statement that even as recently as a year ago I would have thought anyone saying it was a LOON. I thought they were nuts....well, if that is truly the case then I am most definately a NUT!
Well, that initial crack of light, the faint whisper of morning has turned into a glow, the actual promise of the day day a coming. So I am determined to go out for a walk in it and witness the sunrise, as I often do these days from outside.
In closing for this morning I sincerely wish the promise of your new day brings joy and happiness to you and yours. But...if your day brings struggle and hardship, well then I offer a humble prayer that all be well for you and yours.
