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Wednesday, August 31, 2011

I'm Beginning To Wonder...

I hadn't really given much thought about this until last night, as I lie awake in bed unable to drift off to sleep. But I believe that I am starting to change the focus of my life away from the physical more toward the spiritual. I know some readers out there will go "You're kidding right? Haven't you been reading your own blog posts? It's ALL about the spiritual...".

Yea I know, I know...but that isn't quite what I'm talking about though it is relevant to this discussion as well. The focus of my reading AND writing has tilted drastically in the direction of the spiritual of late. Also my discussions are dominated by it as well...I even mentioned recently in a blog that a family member had expressed some concern that all I talk about are SERIOUS things and I'm becoming a "DOWNER" to be around...If that is indeed the case, I'm not sure I can really do anything about it with my life focus directed in  such a way.

What I'm referring to here is that this focus now includes even my most casual, everyday passing interests. I rarely listen or watch the news any more. Even the weather doesn't matter as it once did. I just have little time or patience for the trivial...I'm focused now on personal health...spiritual and physical. And my recovery, always a focus these last five years or so has now become even more important.

The kicker of all of ultimate interest and activity now, has to be the time and effort I dedicate to helping others. I have this natural default alarm in my head that I think I'm conditioned now to listen to that will automatically take my focus to the other person and THEIR needs. This isn't something I do or I it is a gift from God.

I focus now on listening, to the best of my my heart....because I believe the Creator communicates with me through through that physical portal. It is how I am able to FOLLOW HIM, how I know what to do. Learning to wait, to pray and to listen was the most difficult aspect of this whole endeavor. But it is now really starting to gel and the results, well have been amazing...

It never ceases to amaze me how my focus has gone so drastically from being solely on and about ME to now being almost exclusively about YOU...again I claim no responsibility for that. In my mind it is nothing short of miraculous.

So that is the change, it is the transformation of my focus, from me to you and from the worldly to the spiritual. I hadn't a clue it was even happening until it was already a done deal. The game had totally changed and I hadn't even noticed...