Maybe the words for another post this afternoon will start to flow...but then again, maybe they won't. If there is one thing I have discovered about dealing with emotional, spiritual or psychological difficulties or trouble, it is that it is very important that I do not begin to isolate myself physically from others and detach emotionally. I need to stay connected so I can continue to communicate. Because it is through communication that the issue begins to sort themselves out. Sometimes the mere ability to clear the emotional or psychological baggage out of the way is all it will take. Other times I find feedback from others beneficial. And it is the experience I have from going through this process countless times before that allows me to decide (through thoughtful meditation) what it might actually take to get the healing ball rolling again.
It is the wallowing for extended periods of time in emotional crisis that I most desperately try to avoid. I am most at risk for drug or alcohol relapse or destructive emotional behavior when I am in that extremely unbalanced state of being. The more quickly I can get to solid emotional and spiritual ground the better my chances of being able to reasonably and rationally work through the issues to a solution. Meditation and prayer are a huge part of achieving and maintaining that balance but it is nearly impossible for me to pray and meditate when the chaos still reigns between my ears (IE: In my head).
I know, it all sounds ponderous and ridiculous when written out like this but typically this process happens rather quickly and invisibly to other people the majority of the time. My reaction to emotional or psychological issues...even trauma, has now become almost automatic as has the ability to pray and meditate. But again all this is subject to circumstances such as the nature of the issue, the intensity of my reaction, etc....each scenario is unique, therefore requiring it's own specific solution and once again experience often helps determine exactly what that is. It is often during moments of prayer, reflection and meditation that these answers are provided almost always just as I need them most.
That explains the critical importance I place on keeping that "portal" or line of communication to God wide open at all times...it is truly the artery of life for me. Which explains like in last nights situation why I became more then a little distraught when that "pipeline" as it were, seemed to be blocked or obstructed...It is all part of a process that more often then not keeps me going on a relatively even keel.
I have to admit that as I just mentioned most of this reaction and behavior on my part is automatic so I find it quite fascinating to see the process laid out in print as well. It has taken a long time to develop these coping processes and behaviors..there were a lot of emotional and psychological melt-downs in the course of working them out. It was most definately a trial and error (mostly error!) process that worked itself out over a long period of time. I suppose that is the main reason that today I have such confidence that when I am down, when I am really hurting and things look desperate and dark...that I can count on them along with my faith to help me get through. That's what daily recovery is all about....
PHOTO: Kathy Tappenden Tomson
