I e-mailed the link of that post and an accompanying note to my good friend and pastor Shayne, explaining my feelings, my concerns and some questions I have about this subject of reincarnation and how it relates to my life today. I'm fortunate to have such good and caring friends...I won't go into specifics but he helped me put this in perspective and it has calmed some of the conflicted emotions I was experiencing. He suggested I start with prayer and meditation, because communicating with God is probably the single most important and helpful thing I can do in my life today. And not surprisingly, it was exactly what I needed to do to get going...Get re-connected to God.
He re-assured me that I am not really crazy, that I was a very young boy when this all started who was processing a great deal of information. he reminded me that the human mind is an incredible thing and it has amazing powers to process information and influence how we believe. There could be many explanations for what I felt, thought and saw in my dreams back then and into today, including actual reincarnation. Though he does not believe that it is reincarnation, I was definately surprised that he included that possibility it in his final summary. So I have relaxed, I no longer feel alarmed and I will continue to do the things I've been doing as of late. I trust God today, to take me where I need to go and I feel no threat and no fear...
When I share information like this that is so personal to me, it can be a very difficult experience...on one hand it feels risky, dangerous and can lead me to feeling quite vulnerable...even to the point of drinking again! On the other hand, there is a certain freedom in releasing this information...in getting it out in the open and no longer holding it inside. It was issues like reincarnation, rape and my alcoholism that continued to perpetuate the natural feelings I had of being different then anyone else that I have always had to deal with.
Today I just try and share it as openly and honestly as possible. And though I still feel some reluctance to go all the way and open up about these types of things I know now that God has my back. If another human being judges me because of this, well I'm not really that worried about it today. It doesn't make much difference in the broader sense whether they agree or not as long as I am being honest. Ultimately that is what's important...
So another "TABOO" subject of mine has been subjected to the LIGHT...and it turns out that it wasn't that traumatic after all was said and done. Better to spit it out, share it and be relieved of the burden then to continue to repress the secret and let it eat you up from the inside out. Better risk a bit of embarrassment now then spend half a lifetime trying to hide from the truth. And why hide anyway? The TRUTH shall set you free!
