This blog, Shell Shock Serenade as most of you regular readers know, is a day to day account of what life is lick for a recovering addict/alcoholic, who also happens to be a survivor of sexual assault/rape as a pre-teenage boy and a person with a physical (Back, Hips, Spinal column and severe, permanent Nerve damage) disability as well...that is what this whole this is about.
My recent dilemma is that I am now doing some volunteering/ministering at a nursing as well and I am reluctant to talk about it here on the blog because I don't want to draw attention to it. But it is an important, really it's a critical aspect of my taking the next step in my recovery while really do service (charity) type work for others. As many of you know, focusing on helping others has been a huge part of my recovery from the very beginning. Because of that, I am convinced that it needs to be discussed in case other people suffering from addiction want to see how I stay clean/sober on a day/day basis. I couldn't do it without focusing on helping others, it's what I do.
Many also know that I recently became a Christian after always (kind of) believing in a god of some sort...a Creator. This is totally different and has really focused me even more on those that are less fortunate, that are hurting, lonely, sick and tired of being sick and tired...yep, those are now my people. Always were my people actually. That focus has really been turned on to the elderly in nursing homes to the point where I am beginning to feel led into forming some type of ministry. The problem? I am NO minister! Got that right brother!! I find this whole conversion hard to believe because I was quite a God Hater and an angry person when the subject of Jesus or religion came up.
I was certain that it (religion) was a scam to take advantage of the less fortunate, in particular people who are hurting or lonely. Today I realize that just isn't the case...the bible has an incredible message and it took me nearly killing myself to stop fighting/resisting enough to just listen. When i surrendered the notion that I could control my life and I listened I realized that there was indeed hope for a person, even one as lost as I was then.
And the day to day story of all this is captured here in this blog...post by post by post. And for that reason I am going to have to start posting about my experiences at the nursing. Because I have met some incredible people there and they truly have restored my faith that it's possible for human beings to actually be kind, open-hearted and caring. It is amazing what can happen when people get together to help each other...even if it is just to fight off the loneliness day to day like so many of these nursing home residents are doing every day.
So it is safe to assume from now on that there will be posts about that type of thing as well. Please keep in mind that it really is a difficult subject for me to write about, I am truly reluctant and do NOT feel much like promoting whats happening in this area of my life but as I just stated I think it needs to be documented so that is what we'll do...so stay tuned.