I'd like to say I'm all pumped up by "The Addicts" chances to find sobriety this time but I'm not...I don't feel very optimistic at all. Sorry, but when it comes to life and death sh*t like this I'm not gonna blow smoke up any body's BUM...his chances are SLIM to none. Why?! Why would I say something that cold, so negative?
Uh...probably because I've seen this all before...countless times. I don't think "G" is ready to stop clinging to the notion that HE CAN LICK THIS ON HIS OWN. In his mind he is still in control...yep, that's right. He is in the hospital having difficulty talking, even putting a simple thought into words. and let's face it...he is a grown man wearing a diaper, unable to control his bodily functions and can barely eat on his own. But he dodged the bullet...once AGAIN. And that gives us junkies a false sense of control...2 weeks from now he could very well be seen walking into Lefty's (a local Tavern). This disease is an insidious KILLER, it lies and tells us we are OK, even when everyone else in the entire world can see that we aren't...
Let me say this..my prayer tonight is that I am totally and completely WRONG about all of this. Prove me wrong BROTHER, I want you too...God, I want him too but he still clings to SELF.
This is one of those times that I refer to occasionally when i say I wish I could just NOT CARE. That I could just go about my business...and let these addicts fend for themselves..hey, I did! Sure I did...just ask Kim about that! She'll explode that myth in about 30 seconds...
I will say this about this situation with "G"...the reason I have chosen to share this with the blog world is to let you see how this recovery thing works. There is NO science, there is no certainty...it can be frustrating, heartbreaking and just plain hard to take. But when someone gets sober and finds recovery...well that is a miracle...and I've been privileged to witness some of those..including my own hopeless situation.
The events I'm describing if you haven't already figured it out is somewhat similar to my own situation...that is why I have chosen to share this with you. This one hits VERY close to home. I'm sure no one gave me much of a chance either...yet God intervened and here I am. And it can happen for G as well. all we can do is pray...offer a helping hand and continue to visit, and perhaps something will give and he will surrender. It can happen just like that...an addict will resist come hell or high water and just when you think that there is no possible chance they will change...they do.
Sometimes it takes a major event in a persons life like a failed suicide attempt but more often then not something in side just collapses...and the will to resist fades away. Call it what you like, I call it Divine Intervention!