Words...Have I ever told you that I absolutely LOVE words? No? Well I do...I mean I really do. I think that is why I have always been a voracious reader...I couldn't get enough words in my intellectual diet. Sounds odd perhaps but it is undoubtedly true for me.
I've never quite understood folks who didn't like to read but then I just figure that it's a "different strokes for different folks" kind of thing.To each his own I suppose but I shudder to think what I would have done as a boy without books! It would have been a MORE tormented, even lonelier childhood then it already was. Books were my sanctuary...my saving GRACE. A gift no doubt from the Creator...
It is the nights that are troubling me as of late. I have always had a rather cautious yet frightening relationship with the NIGHT. The night for me was more a state of mind then a period in time or a time of the day. The NIGHT interferes with any possible INTERNAL light and serenity I may be due...
I can't recall having ever experienced a time in my life where things are seemingly going well yet are exacting such an incredibly high price in emotional pain and punishment. Yes I suppose that after all this time I suspect that it is the way it always WILL BE. It isn't going to change...
I doubt that KS really knows what she is in for on this latest journey. Oh she mostly says the right things...but nobody knows what it is I feel.
I have noticed, particularly after getting sober that I seem to have these periods of comfort followed by periods of torment and uncertainty. And of course THOSE freaking moments happen mostly in the middle of the night or suddenly during the day when I have been experiencing a rather positive and productive time. So yep, the shat all over my good time....never fails....I will cop to finding the humor in all that but tonight I am too tired to laugh or cry.
I weep only in waves of forgotten memories...tear-drops drown the why in wandering. Heartache signals the end of reasonable compromise...window-pain breaks the smile in one's eye of wonder, a youthful hit or miss. A whisper sanctify's the wavering...
Watch Tommy wave Goodbye.
