Certifiably NUTS is what I would call it...that's right, I'm speaking about myself here. I've got to be out of my mind...I don't know how I ever even got to this place in my mind but more critically, in my heart where I would consider participating in reading the Bible for a group of people yet that is what I will be attempting to do this Saturday morning at 9am. Even more uncertain (and scary) is that I have had a couple of incidents in the last 48 hours or so where I have definately felt led and motivated to pursue a ministry of some sort to the elderly here in Coldwater, MI.
My old drinkin' and druggin' buddy Satan just fell off his freakin' throne of fire right now and in the process, he set his own rear-end on fire! Yes, dear readers (and FALLEN ANGELS), I said ministry and I'm not joking, day dreaming or fantasizing...nope, I have never been more serious about anything in my life. There is a huge need to reach out to the elderly in our community, particularly those in nursing homes already and I am really feeling led in that direction...yet I find that I am sort of resisting it. Hence the reason for this post...When I put something down in a blog post, it has a tendency to "make it more real" for me. It also requires some accountability on my part if I talk about it here because readers will want to know what's up.
I think you get the notion that I am finding this whole thing a bit hard to believe myself...and that is totally accurate. I'm stunned that I feel this way, that I am feeling led down this particular path of service to others. But deep down, if it is the Lord's desire that I go minister to the elderly any way I'm able, then I will FOLLOW HIM there without hesitation or complaint. I'm truly honored to be able to do it...And yes, even though the mere thought of it scares me to death!
There is a part of me I suppose...that even today, over 7 months after becoming a Christian that felt like it wasn't totally real. Well it most certainly is...trust me...I am completely convinced of that fact today! This whole conversion happened to me so unexpectedly that I don't think I have actually really caught my breath as of yet. And once I became a FOLLOWER of Jesus, opportunities have presented themselves so quickly, one after another that I haven't really stopped to think about what it all means. And that is probably a good thing for me, especially early on because if I took the time to think about each and every little thing that is going on, I most certainly would have gotten cold feet by now and would have wanted to "slow this whole thing down a bit..." That would NOT have been a good thing...
So here I am, willing enough though more then a little intimidated by the POWER of the HOLY SPIRIT and how it can literally move MEN to do things they normally never would have done otherwise. Certainly that has been the case in my life. Because I have no allusions about being some "special person" because on my own, I know that I am not capable of doing these things. And I am not worthy of these wonderful gifts I have been given along the way. The incredible friendships made, the opportunity to give GOD all the credit for the amazing happenings and experiences I have had in these few short months. To be able to witness first hand what HE alone can to in the lives of others!
Please don't misunderstand and think that all of this has been easy...it has not been even remotely simple or easy. Honestly, I have not ever been taken so swiftly out of my comfort zone as a person and a Christian as I have recently..but because God is in charge, I have been able to persevere and it is my sincere hope & prayer, help others find the amazing Love and Grace of our Savior, Jesus Christ . I don't pretend to have a clue what the future may bring, it is impossible at this stage of my life as a FOLLOWER to know...but I am pretty certain that SOMETHING will happen. And if it requires even more of my time, more effort, understanding, patience, resources, etc...Whatever it may require of me...then it will be my distinct privilege and pleasure to give it my all.