I let my fear of what happened to me in past relationships influenced how I felt and my level of trust. Those were very difficult experiences to forget or put into proper perspective. It took a great deal of time and effort, especially communicating. We both had reservations and I do think that this worked out for the best. I feel much more capable today of loving and reciprocating love then I did even 6-9 short months ago. Oh, I could have muddled through but now with my new spiritual outlook I feel freer to be myself and just let it go...
So we are hanging out and really enjoying a wonderful Saturday here at the lake...the island is over-run to some degree with the late summer crowd but it doesn't matter...the Sun is shining, it's a delightful 79 degrees and we are together. I know, I know I sound like I'm writing a freaking Love Story here. Sorry, that wasn't my intention...but I will admit that things have changed between us and without a doubt it is for the better. And I have changed...I no longer let fear have any power of how I lead my life. I trust the Lord, he has really given me patience and great comfort while going through all of this, for that I am grateful.
I honestly think if I was still living life the old way, Kim and I would still be Best Friends and Companions, not a couple....and that really would have been sad. I realize how out of character it is for me to write about or even discuss personal relationship matters with anyone but I think my growth, the development of more trust and my ability to express my feelings of love/support are a direct result of my continued recovery and most importantly my FAITH. My Spiritual growth has had a profound affect on all of this...with out the Lord, we aren't together today, of that I am sure.
So....what to do now? A boat ride sounds like a good place to start...though we might wait until this evening. Anyway...enough time spent on the computer...believe it or not...I have better things to do!
