Lately, as anyone who reads this blog will note...I been somewhat reflective, looking back on the last 6-8 weeks of my life. I had wondered at various points in my life what I would do if I had to face the prospect of a terminal illness.
Well now I kind of feel like I have actually been there now, at least caught a glimpse of it And though I am fortunate enough that it hasn't turned out to be a true terminal situation, I did spend several nights, laying wide awake looking straight through at my mortality. Now I realize how amazing it has been that I became a Christian, a believer just before all this happened.
In the end, I was OK with whatever was going to happen. And hey, let's face it...no one likes to be in this position at all but there was a sense of peace I had about life in general that I still feel today. I've also learned how vital prayer is...and I don't mean the prayers where your asking for stuff. Know I learned that for me prayer is really a powerful, emotional communication that connects me to my Creator. OK I know, a short time ago I would have thought this would have sounded crazy but honestly it's incredibly hard to explain how amazingly serene and peaceful I felt when in the past I would have absolutely been a basket case of drunken, emotional outbursts and erratic behavior.
Today I just KNOW things will be as they are and that's perfectly fine with me...I'll keep moving forward. It truly feels like life now has a fuller purpose though on the most basic, physical level nothing feels different but deep inside things are very different indeed!
I'm here at the house all alone today and though I think I'll head into town to meet a few friends around noon for awhile, I think I'm going to just spend the day here at the house me and the Creator just kicking back, re-charging those spiritual batteries and being thankful for the RAIN...