Monday, April 4, 2011
To Wander In The DARK
I have actually stayed up watching the NCAA National Title Game between Butler and U Conn. 74 total points scored and there are only 5.5 minutes left in the game. A very strange game, tough defense and very poor shooting by Butler who trails now by 12 points which in this game is probably an impossible margin to make up but realistically it can be done.
I didn't sit down to write about basketball tonight or anything else specifically, for that matter. I'm fidgety, restless not really discontent yet something feels like it should give.
I've got more questions in my life at the moment then there are answers....I suppose that isn't so terribly unusual, is it? And it's not the obvious stuff that's buggin' me really. I can't do any more then I am already doing for my health.
I've made a major spiritual decision and commitment in my life just recently and the one thing that sort of bothers me about that whole thing? Is that there was no resistance, turmoil, issues or problems...it was too smooth. Yes I'm complaining (sort of) because this whole (Christianity) thing went really well, like it was SUPPOSED to happen! Well DUH!?
Jeez Thom, that probably means it is a good thing so just dropped it! I just do not trust success...or good things happening in my life. And I'm not going to get down on myself for that because in the not to distant past, that WAS the way things were: disastrous!
I have days...and this isn't a joke, where I still am not sure what I am supposed to feel like. What is normal? What in the world does NORMAL feel like? Am I doing this life thing correctly?
It is that type of question and more that often stop me in my tracks..along with some of life's great questions like who am I? Man, I just don't know. Should I know? Are we supposed to even think of such things...
I suspect there are things that we HUMANS don't have to know...that perhaps we CANNOT know, you know?!
Alrighty, I'm getting a tad punchy, a bit redundant and the game is over...all good reasons to bag the remainder (if one exists) of this post for another time. Good Night All...