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Friday, April 15, 2011

EMO Spot Check

I was thinking about the fact that I tend to always process every thought and feeling in a rather systematic and serious way these days...I don't really blow anything off or take it for granted. I'm wondering if that is just how it's going to be from now on since I have had to really focus on making healthy choices when I first got sober. So the question I guess is this now the way I am or is it still part of a transitional process? I don't really know the answer though I kind of suspect it's more permanent then transitional just because of the way it feels so natural now...

I don't ever picture me just living life w/out considering consequences like I used to. I think that is the difference today. Now I just double check my motives whenever I do something and I also have gotten into a habit of re-visiting my behavior at the end of each day to see how if I've done anything that doesn't sit well within the daily spiritual/recovery/living parameters I've set for my life.

I have a sneaking suspicion that I will always keep tabs on how I react to stuff from now on, it's become a habit for the most part. And since I've seen how I can act when I'm at my worst it's, re-assuring to be so in touch with myself, my feelings and emotions. Now I can really sense if I am getting to a place where something is out of whack...and thats the most effective way to deal with a lot of this emotion is before it blows up into a dramatic meltdown or I shove it way down in my sub0conscious mind to fester and stew until another day...

I'd rather be too close to it then let my feelings and such send me off a tangent and get myself all tied up in knots isn't worth it. So I most likely will always check periodically on where I am at, how I'm feeling. I've had many "Habits" in my lifetime...this is one I think I'll keep!

OK...this post will be finished as of now even though I wasn't REALLY..I'm still really road weary and even though I'm sitting at my desk, my eyes keep closing and sooner or later I'm going to wake up with my head on the good night all!

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