Unsettling

Off I go, keeping my head down but feet moving just walking into the wind. And I am literally going for a walk here in a couple of minutes and for another day, one of many this Spring the wind is just howling. We have had warm fronts, cold fronts, rain and sunshine and it makes no difference because regardless of what ever else is happening the wind is really just a-whipping.....More sticks litter the yard...I picture in my mind a forest of tree trunks all the branches, limbs and leaves ripped off and strewn all over the ground.

I hadn't really given this much thought before I sat down here to post but the weather, the hard wind, blustery conditions with colder temps, the prospect of rain and snow(yes...snow!)all reminds me of my mood these past couple of days. Hard, tough conditions..no storm but the prospect of the future is a bit ominous.

I'm not really sure that I like that comparison but I will admit, it's more accurate then not. I'm am hunkered down somewhat emotionally, feeling a little distant from things. I'm not sure if it's fear though I honestly don't think it is. There are still unanswered questions about my health yet the big concerns have been addressed...I really am not feeling too bad about this, on the contrary I feel positive for the most part.

I sense that I am unsettled somewhat by the prospect of more surgery, this I do know but I trust God has a plan and I'm ready for whatever happens. I'm nervous about medical costs...some of the bills are starting to roll in now that my insurance has paid and this makes me nervous. My Supplemental Insurance stopped because I had not met minimal requirements since I hadn't any bills earlier in the year. Now when I really need them it isn't there so I had to re-apply. Theres just life stuff like that and it unsettles me, this kind of thing...

OH well, this will pass I suppose...i'm not sure that is all thats bugging me, something is there and I can't put my finger on it.

Well my walking partner is getting itchy to go before it gets to cold so I'll come back and post later if possible as well...