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Monday, April 25, 2011

The Sarcastic Crank Is Dead

The week begins and it should be an interesting week for sure! We seem to be in a rather odd weather pattern here in southern lower Michigan this Spring. And I use the term "Spring" loosely because we've really had more of a long, late, typical Michigan Winter then a true Spring. Of course every one is rather cranky about that, I suppose I'm getting a tad cranky too.

I am usually pretty good about going with the flow weather wise and I'm getting a bit weary of the cold, windy and wet weather we've had for over a month now. The way I figure it, I'll have surgery Thursday and be laid up for a little while and the weather will be gorgeous! I know, I'm being a bit cynical eh?! Cynical is my nature...

Though I do try to keep that cynical side from taking over my entire personality like it has in the past, eventually turning me into a bitter, sarcastic whiner who is never satisfied with his life or the people in it. It's a thin line to walk for me but if I stay focused on what I need to do, that I am responsible for in my life and NOT try and control what others say/do, things stay pretty reasonable all around.

Anyhow this is the kind of week that I would not have handled very well in the past. First of all, I would be totally stressed out, worrying about the surgery. Well that is something I have absolutely NO control over once I've made the decision to actually have it done! So that would be wasted energy...

Plus I'd get everyone around me all stirred and stressed out as well. Shoot, I probably would have started that nonsense 2 weeks ago, everyone would be in a miserable frenzy of tension, stress and irritability at this point a few days before surgery...being around me then was a real treat, I was such a fun guy to be around, eh?!

Er...NO, no I wasn't. I was a miserable, son of a b**ch is what I was and I made everyone around me miserable as well. And I didn't even realize I was having this effect on people. And these were people I cared about, family, friends...I couldn't understand why they wouldn't do what I wanted them to. I resented THEM for it and it was my behavior that was causing the majority of the issues!

Today life is a bit smoother. I have a few things to take care of before the surgery, not a big deal. I am not worried about the outcome of the surgery because it will work out like it is supposed to. I just know it's all gonna be OK, I suppose that's faith..anyway, it works pretty well for me!

So no Mr Freaking Cranky Pants this morning, I just bad a nausea bag wherever I go and live my live. If I ever write about the last few days in a post or book chapter, "The Nausea Bag Chronicles" would be the perfect title because it has been a constant companion though I wouldn't necessarily call it my friend...

Perhaps I will be able to leave him at home or at least in the car today while I am in town!! So me and the new focus on positive thinking have to get our A**'s in gear because the clocks running. Be back later, my friends...

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