I just re-read the last couple of posts here on Shell-Shock. Jeez..What a load of crap! Especially the Free Time post I wrote last. The subject matter was fine but I did a lousy job describing what I really meant. I had little or no enthusiasm for the task...I can see that now. If I was more into it, I would have given more time and thought to what I really wanted to say.
Instead it came out sounding lame...not one of my better posts if you ask me...that's OK, sometimes you win...sometimes, not so much.
More often then not, I'm really stoked about what I write about: The subject matter and how I write it usually excites me...rarely have I felt like I was just going through the motions when I write a post. And I don't think that was the case earlier today either. I just couldn't seem to get it together...it happens some times. You get an idea, it sounds or feels good yet when you spit it out there isn't any BITE to it...it lays there.
That was the case earlier and it is something I struggle with as well.I have never really lacked subject matter...never really found myself struggling to find something to write about. Naw, I just can't find the right words and emotions in which to say it the way I want to sometimes...that's all. I still write it but it can feel clunky and out of sync... Awkward for sure.
I also feel less enthused if I don't feel an edginess to my posts...I love to push. Myself, others...the envelope, peoples patience...you name it, I like to be a bit of a pest at times. If the posts aren't lively I lose interest and that isn't good!
I guess I have felt rather distracted the last several days and it becomes difficult for me to focus on things...when I feel like this I am never satisfied so that may contribute to this feeling of mine as well. It's late, so I'm gonna just slide into bed, read and hopefully drift away. Tomorrow and the next few days should be interesting.