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Friday, April 8, 2011

The Day Lands In Twilight

Another day gently lands in twilight, evening giving way to the night. One of those types pf days I describe as restless and disconnected. I feel that way and the physical day itself possessed no natural flow, like some days often do. Everything I had to do today seemed forced...It was an effort all day long just to concentrate on taking care of the short but important list of things that I needed to do today, it being the last "Business" day before I leave for the North Country and MAYO again late Sunday night.

I needed to make sure funds were available, etc. and I felt so spacey and disjointed that I had to double then triple check what I was doing. Earlier this evening I had what I can only describe as an abdominal "attack" that sent me into bed, in the fetal position for an hour before settling down. I wonder if that had been stewing all day and was responsible for the cloudy, disoriented and lethargic way I felt all day.

I still have some abdominal pain but it is back to the more typical type, no nausea or numbness and I feel pretty steady on my feet for now. But whoa, that really gets my attention and frankly frightens the dickens out of me when I go haywire like that. The cool thing is I have been alone all day when at home and there was actually someone here when that whole thing fortunate, eh?

So off we go for consultations. I really don't have much to say except it is my sincere hope that we have some answers to whatever is going on. I want to think that the possibility of Cancer is now Nil, figuring they would certainly inform me of that suspicion or probability.

If that is indeed the case, then one of my more nagging, longtime fears comes true in that they obviously don't know what it is that's going on with me...I don't know if I can handle a diagnosis of "We Don't Know" again. I went through several years of hell with my back injuries like that until they did an MRI (which I had been begging for)and immediately saw numerous ruptured disks and broken/cracked vertebrae. Then it was URGENT all of a sudden and the idiots acted like I'd been hiding it from them!! TWITS! They were all TWITS, the lot of 'em..

So I'm nervous but what the heck, we have to still go and find out what they have to say. I am scheduling the Stomach Surgery for later this month or early May. A week from Monday I meet the surgeon and then we will schedule it. We'll see how that meeting goes, his receptionist was a tad cranky that I had gone to MAYO and was rather snippy on the phone yesterday. It should be fun...

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