Tuesday, April 26, 2011
In Your Eyes...
I was thinking about the title of the previous post: Storm Coming and it reminded me of a song lyric in the U2 song Running To Stand Still, a song about Heroin addiction of a couple living in Dublin. There is a line where Bono sings about the "Storm Blowing Up In Her Eyes"...whew, the lyrics get to me even today.
I've tried shooting dope, Cocaine, synthetic Morphine and yea, heroin but other then getting totally strung out on snorting Coke I never became the classic "drug shooting junkie"...but there isn't much of a difference when you are Jonesing for your next QT (Quarter Ounce) of Coke and your shaking so hard you feel like your body is going to come apart. Except...you looking in the mirror and your not really shaking at all, it's all inside of you....suffice it to say, death at that point seems preferable.
To the best of my knowledge, none of the members of U2 suffered from Heroin Addiction though the bassist Adam Clayton admittedly had a problem with alcohol and quit drinking. So I find it remarkable that BONO was able to pen such lyrics so accurately. And in my experience they are accurate. The lines:
You got to cry without weeping
Talk without speaking
Scream without raising your voice
I don't know, I can really relate to how that actually feels because I've been there. An addict going through Withdrawal no longer feels Human. Nothing was real any more except my agony: the pain was real and it was the only thing I could feel at that point. So many junkies punish themselves physically, cutting, etc. for that exact reason: they want to feel something, anything!
Sound crazy?! It is, it's insane and there are a lot of people living the nightmare of addiction today. It breaks my heart, really. Now that I myself, have found a daily reprieve from my addiction I feel so helpless when it comes to practicing addicts because they don't get it (yet).
Anyway, that picture of clouds this afternoon, the post title about a Storm Coming and that song lyric combined to bring thoughts of those still out there using to me. I feel a wave of sadness when I think about those still suffering yet, I know now that anyone can break the cycle, if they choose to do it. It isn't easy but it is POSSIBLE.