Another Nudge...

I was thinking about change again this morning. And that it almost seems as if constant change is the norm for me today and if I'm NOT trying something new, pushing myself to grow...then I get outta whack. That seems to be exactly the opposite of what most folks experience...Oh brother?! Why do I always have to be so different, lol? That is also quite a change from the way I used to live and look at life as well....I  had a tendency to just wait for things to happen FOR or TO me instead of putting myself out there and making them happen It still feels risky yet the rewards have been great....

I feel a bit silly because I can make a mountain out of a mole hill. The things that may seem like a huge deal to me are often normal everyday activities for most anyone else.

Church for example. Yes, I am planning on going to church this morning. It will be the first time I've gone to a regular church service (I've been to a few weddings, several funerals and a couple baptisms) since, hmm 1986 maybe? That was the last time I really tried to re-connect with church. It did not go very well...mostly because I didn't really want it to. I wasn't open to it, there fore it never felt "right". Go figure...

I can't really say what is motivating me this time to check it out other then I've been experiencing a bit of a "nudge', something is just pushing me subconsciously to go. I try to be open minded today, a big change from the Thom of even a year ago...so I'm gonna go....and  I'm really looking forward to it.

I had so much anger toward any church, toward religion that it blocked out any possibility of seeing any good that it might do. I know today that I don't want to be the kind of person who spends their time looking for the negative side of everything. I've done that, I lived that way for a long, long time. So we'll see how this goes.

I think the good thing is I really don't have any expectations about it. I'm just interested in seeing how it goes, I feel about it. I met the pastor of the church this past Wed. for coffee and I really enjoyed talking to him. It was a very interesting conversation and I enjoyed it. I suppose if anyone was pressuring me to go to church in any way, that I would have nothing at all to do with it. The fact is, I initiated it and it's some I wanted to do...

Well, the great spiritual, church experiment is about to begin so off we go. If I manage to survive the experience I will most certainly have something to say about it later.....