Not Alone...

Snow...there is something of a renewal each time it snows. I've always liked living in Michigan because we do get to experience the four, distinct seasons. And I do like all four of them, each for a different reason...

But I didn't sit down here this afternoon to write about the seasons or the weather...nope. It's renewal that has me thinking. After all I've been blogging about the last few days concerning spiritual matters, go figure that I'm thinking in terms of renewal, right?!

I spoke to a friend on the phone a short while ago. He is a good friend and someone that I trust. Both of those things (friends and trust) haven't always come easily for me but these days I have both in my life today and it's comforting.

 We were talking about this "God thing" (that's what I'm calling this process of increased spirituality) I am experiencing and I said to him: "I feel like I'm strapped to a rocket and there is nothing I can do to stop it".  I am on a journey, it's happening very quickly and though I don't recall, I given my permission and I'm totally committed. And like it or not, I am on my way....

And that's it right here...right now. It's inevitable, that is the way it feels. Like God is here now and he is saying: "We've been waiting for you Thomas, for a long, long time...your can come home now".

You have no idea what that feels like to the little boy who always felt "different", awkward and out of place. Or the pre-teen who had any shred of innocence left, beaten and sexually assaulted right out of him on a cold, hard floor. The young man who still felt inadequate, longing to fit in but never did. The adult who determined if there WAS a God, then he had rejected him and  so he was rejecting God and all of his hypocritical "Believers" right back and show them! Then we have the beaten down, hopeless alcoholic/addict, who was convinced that HE was indeed EVIL and  he was going to do his family a FAVOR by killing himself. This guy had to make sure to secure his own mouth with Duck-Tape so he wouldn't throw the several bottles of pills he just took back up and then NOT die Darkest Before The Dawn...

To that boy and that man, those are the words he never, EVER expected to hear. Not today nor tomorrow...but Never expected to hear.

So I sit here somewhat bewildered by this whole experience.  I haven't a clue how this happened yet it has so now all I can do is look up to him in my minds eye and hear his voice in the beating of my heart, over and over again, I can hear it:

And I know I'm not alone and everything is going to be OK....