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Monday, January 24, 2011


I am finding that portraying the daily life of a person in recovery is a bit more tricky then I expected. One of the reasons is that I sometimes feel like the subject matter for the majority of posts is "heavy" all the time when my reality is that it's not. But when it translates into the written word it comes off that way. In other words I can say I laugh and have a good time and most folks can understand that. But the deeper stuff requires more explanation, therefore it tends to dominate the posts...

Same with the challenges I face when when confronted with what I should and shouldn't share since the subject matter can cover some rather rough stuff.I think I've done pretty good at honestly portraying my life, maybe too good of a job. I do get hesitant to open up sometimes I I've said before that I feel like I share more then I should. It is my life and yes, I get embarrassed just like anyone else.

But you either choose to do this or not, it cannot be shared only when I feel like it or else it loses it's authenticity. Plus I have to watch that it doesn't come off as sounding sensationalistic. I don't want to write things just to shock, that isn't what this is about...

I think that once again I just have to write what comes to mind an not worry so much how it's going to be received by readers. And I do think that's what I'm doing, I get concerned that no one will want to read it if it's too heavy or sad or descriptive...and that's not the way I should look at this at all. If no one reads it, so what?! The benefit is in the writing.

I have an ego just like everyone else and I guess I want people to like what I do and I do spend a great deal of time and effort on SSS (Shell Shock Serenade). I'm only human after all.

OK, now that I've gotten that stuff out of my system I need more coffee...


  1. Hey dude, sorry I have been silent lately ... it is grant application season here, the things that let me do the good stuff the rest of the year. I have been following along, but my brain is not in a place to leave any meaningful comments. I am interested in what you have to say, however much you choose to share. At times, your story humbles me, at times it inspires, and at times I want to send you cookies :o)
    We are listening ... so please keep takling!

  2. Thanks B, Somehow I knew you were out there and hey, cookies are always a good thing!!

  3. Oh that dang ego! It gets the best of us all at times. But once again, the fact that you recognize it, puts you lightyears ahead of some other folks. Especially, some men. The pressure to be "macho manly" seems to get the best of some men. Even ones I would never expect it from. You are a rare breed. Embrace it. Its a good thing, even though sometimes it may not feel like it.

  4. This may not make sense as I am extremely tired right now, but I was just thinking... if you can balance your ego with humility then you're doing great!