A novelty...a buffoon, a caricature of a normal guy, freak, head case, loser, loner...alone.
Yea, you guessed it, those thoughts have all run through my mind here lately. People will say: "just be yourself...woman like honest, open, sensitive guys". Really? I haven't seen much that in my experience. No they don't like 'em too honest, open and sensitive. I think it comes across as weird.
After letting those last 2 posts hit the site, live...I did shudder a tad and started thinking that I hanging my ass way out there in the openess department. I don't fear the information somehow being used against me, NO...I'm also not worried about being made fun of or mocked for my personality. I'm rather used to being considered a bit different and I'm emotionally and spiritually healthy enough to take it.
No, what I fear I suppose, is letting a whole bunch of people really get to know me that well. I do like keeping some things, well personal. Perhaps I'm foolish for even feeling a bit hesitant. I'm not out here to impress anyone or pretend that I'm anything but just plain old me. I blog ultimately because it helps me, in fact it helps me a lot.
And I already know that I am really reaping the benefits for taking this risk to share, to share myself, my story and I think most importantly: My HOPE. That's it...whether I want to or not, I HAVE to blog now. This isn't even a choice for me anymore because I feel compelled to share. And I only know one way to do that...Honestly!
So we might as well all sit back, it could be a rather interesting ride...