This Wednesday, the day that has by default become my spirit quest day...yes, I'm joking around, sort of. I'm still somewhat uncomfortable with the whole notion of "God" and such that by kidding around it somehow lessens the feelings of severity I have about doing it.
I meet Wed. morning with a friend who is helping me go through the bible. I read it years ago but honestly, it's never truly made any sense to me at all. This bible study as it were came about very naturally and just felt like the thing to do.
[I just realized that I haven't posted my reaction about going to church for the 1st time in many years this Sunday past. I will post something about it in the next day or two...]
I've mentioned in previous posts that not too long ago I had very negative feeling towards God, Church, Christians (all Religions, actually) and never would have considered sitting down with anyone to discuss such things. But because of my experiences, I realize that one:
Life is too valuable to not be open to other aspects of thinking and living;
I know now that as a human being I have four distinct sides: a physical, emotional, psychological and spiritual side. See, in the end I always was a "SQUARE"! I've learned to that each side needs nourishment and over the last 4 plus years 3 of the 4 sides have been getting quite a bit of attention, with the spiritual side being left alone for safe keeping, I guess.
It was probably 2 months or so ago, I got one of my famous "nudges" that basically reminded me that I did indeed have a spiritual side and NOW was the time to start FEEDING it.
I hadn't a clue where to begin. I didn't know WHAT I believed, if anything. My thoughts from the past had suggested basically that I was God, that I called all the shots...well that was pretty much discredited by what I had done to myself with drugs/alcohol. "Yea if your all powerful, Thom...how did you get yourself into that mess?!!"
So what did I believe? Well I kinda had a feeling that there was "something" out there, some force, some power for good. And so I've started there....
And I've done my best to listen, open my mind and see what happens.
The second part of my very spiritual Wed. activities is a group learning DVD study at the church I attended on Sunday. The story of how that came about is worthy of a post of it's own. But I will say that I actually am the guy (inadvertently) responsible for getting this program started...Can you believe that?!
Two months ago I was a self proclaimed "God Hater", now a casual suggestion of mine to a friend has become an actual group bible study activity at a local church with an attendance of around 20-25 people! When the pastor asked me if I would like to join them, how could I say no?! Shoot, I was afraid to, like God would strike me down or something, haha!
So, have a wonderful day and I sure hope to do the same...