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Sunday, January 30, 2011

Huh, Humility, Yea...

I got on a a bit of a tangent last night, didn't I? I re-read the post I Will Be There... that I wrote late yesterday and I was a bit embarrassed by what I had written. Not so much about the subject matter, no I still think those of us in recovery have to remeber what got us here and not turn our backs on others.

No what I didn't care for was the arrogant and self-serving tone of the post as if my shit doesn't stink. Uh, it REALLY does, I assure you. I let some of my anger and indignation come through a bit more then I would have liked.  I specifically state in the post that I don't want to criticize people who are doing their best and that's exactly what I ended up doing.

I really apologize...I did not represent my point of view in the way I intended. I just really wanted that post to serve as a reminder to anyone in recovery (and my self most of all) that we don't want to forget where we came from. That there are plenty of people who need us, right now and we should do our best to make ourselves available to them...I did a lousy job getting that message across and I admit it.

I recently had a rather unpleasant conversation with a guy who had told me that he once spent a lot of time working with others but "he didn't need to do that anymore since he went to church". He obviously GOT we HE needed by going there....That was the conversation that sparked some of my indignation...I let that comment get to me and I shouldn't have. I also want to say that I know he does NOT represent a majority of those in recovery who also go to church and follow the Lord. It was one man's opinion and I probably took it out of context as well...Who am I to stand in judgment of him?!

And I came across as sounding like I was some kind of recovery super man and I am NOT, not even close. I can be just as self-centered and selfish as I ever was if I am not careful...I proved that last night right here.

I simply try and do my best which often isn't nearly enough. Just like everyone else, I make mistakes...often. All I can do is try my best and if I fail, well I just have to try again...and again.

So I admit I didn't do my best last night but I will try again today. I honestly hope I didn't do any damage with my snotty attitude and will give it another shot today.

It's Sunday so I'm off to see the Wizard, I sincerely hope everybody has a wonderful day...

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